Hump Day Happy

Now is the only time. How we relate to it creates the future. In other words, if we're going to be more cheerful in the future, it's because of our aspiration and exertion to be cheerful in the present. What we do accumulates; the future is the result of what we do right now.

— Pema Chödrön in When Things Fall Apart

Remember not to waste your time expecting happiness to come from other people or circumstances. Happiness is an inside job. Your latte is half empty or it's half full - it's your choice.

I loved the book Eat, Pray, Love so much. Elizabeth Gilbert found a spiritual teacher in Bali and he taught her to imagine her liver smiling. Really. If you are having trouble feeling happy, I promise this technique will work. Pick any internal organ and imagine it with a big smile on its...whatever. It will get you started.

You could also watch the trailer for this new movie "Happy Go Lucky," it's infectious.
(I found out about this movie from my sister, one of the happiest people I know)

R I P : HotWheels Henshaw 2005-2008

Our goldfish died. We started out 3 years ago with two little goldfish. One died quickly, but HotWheels lived a long and happy life.

I was the one who made sure he had a clean tank, but the boys were good about feeding HotWheels almost regularly. He stayed in their room, and they always included him when doing a family count - there were 10 of us (Mom, Dad, 2 boys, 4 hermit crabs, 1 dog and 1 fish.) So I was surprised when, as I was scooping him out of the tank, they asked with excitement "can we get a Chinese fighting fish?" No tears, no sadness, they were already thinking about what was next.

I put the little cup with HotWheels in it outside the house with the plan to hold a short burial ritual so my children could experience the proper way to show respect and gratitude for all creatures great and small. And then, um, I forgot about him.

A few days ago I pulled into the driveway and immediately smelled the worst smell I have ever smelled. Foul. Ross was stacking wood, knocked over the cup, and our dog pounced on and ate poor, decomposing HotWheels. The stench lasted for hours. We were gagging and the kids were happily telling anyone who would listen that our dog ate our dead fish.

Maybe kids and dogs are closer to the truth - what we regard as upsetting and traumatic, they understand as a natural progression of life. What was left of HotWheels wasn't really him. To his spirit, wherever it may be, I say "thank you for the joy you brought while you were here" and "jeez, I'm so sorry about the dog thing..."

Days With My Father, A Photo Essay

every once in a while you come across something so moving, soulful and well-done there's not much that needs to be said about it.

love your body ? ? ?

The NOW (National Organization for Women) Foundation held "Love Your Body Day" on October 15th. They set out to counter unhealthy and unrealistic beauty standards fostered by media and advertising with a simple message to us: love your body. I found out about it a few days late, but is it really ever too late to love your body? I hope not. I'm 40 years old and it is still one of my goals. I am much more likely to focus my unfavorable attention on the body part that hangs over the top of my jeans than I am to lavish praise on the parts that grew and gave birth to 2 healthy babies, get out of bed every day and heal easily from any illness and injury that come their way.

The "love your body day" website has examples of offensive ads as well as positive ads including this one (above) from Dove. (Truly, has there ever been a more brilliant marketing campaign than their Campaign for Real Beauty?) They also held a poster contest and the grand prize winner was this one by Whitney Calvert. The measuring tape asks "What's the measure of a woman?"

My friend and business partner, Jennifer, organized an event at our local library using a program from Mind on the Media called "Turn Beauty Inside Out." We invited pre-teen girls and their moms and used the be line's message of focusing on what's inside to facilitate a conversation about how they define beauty. The girls created a life sized representation of themselves by collaging words and images to create an empowered, personal vision of what defines them, makes them unique, important and beautiful.

I loved using the be brand as a launching point for a conversation that I think is the most important conversation anyone can have with themselves or others, one that goes -- "I am SO much more, worlds beyond, what you can see by looking at this body. Knowing and allowing this divine, specific, natural expression of me is what I came here to do, and ONLY I can do it. As the dancer Martha Graham has famously said "it is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."

Our bodies are important, no doubt, and loving them will become possible when we can also see beyond them, the big picture of what we look like. Then the question will be "What's not to love?"

source for Love Your Body Day Story: BlogHer

new site: GOOP

I am a fan of Gwyneth Paltrow. I love her style, admire her talent as an actress and get the sense that she is a cool person and a great mom. So I was excited when I found out that she is launching a new website www.GOOP.com and even more interested when I saw the tag line "Nourish the Inner Aspect." And especially intrigued when I saw this -->

as one of the content sections of the site in addition to SEE, MAKE, GO, GET and DO. A note from Gwyneth says:

"Over the years I have tried lots of different things. I have made lots of mistakes. But I have figured lots of things out in the process and I would like to share them with you. Wether you want a good place to eat in London, some advice on where to stay in Austin, the recipe I made up this week or some thoughts from one of my sages, GOOP is a little bit of everything that makes up my life."

There's not much on the website yet, I don't think it has officially launched, but you can sign up for the newsletter. I did and already received an email with a collection of essays from thought leaders across spiritual and religious disciplines. It was interesting and I'm looking forward to more. Hopefully it will be some good goop.

the Ocean Blue...

Two things happened yesterday that caught my attention in a way that felt like a certain tone in the Universe's voice. One that sounds like "yes, we have eternity and all, but it would sure be nice if you started taking the hint now..."

#1 I was in Julianne's yoga class (love her) and she reminded us to keep our feet grounded just enough for stability, while the rest of our body opened, released and expanded - just one of the many ways practicing yoga is a beautiful metaphor for living life. She said "liberate your movement" and I wondered, once again, how she knew exactly what I needed to hear.

#2 I pulled a little book out of my son's backpack and read the cover which said "Christopher Columbus was an explorer. He went to places that were new to him."

I want that, I thought - I want to go to places that are new to me. I wasn't thinking about sailing anywhere (I get seasick) but becoming more. More of who I am. I don't know exactly what that is, but I know I'm holding back. This is especially true when it comes to building the be line. There is a big discrepancy between what I know it has the potential to become and what I want it to be vs. where it is. I've been in my comfort zone, but now that little voice is getting more persistent..."become more...grow, do what you came here to do...stop worrying about falling...keep yourself grounded just enough for stability and then let yourself open, release and expand." I don't know where I'm headed, but Christopher Columbus didn't expect to find San Salvador.

This happens to all of us - we grow, then plateau, then grow some more. I've come to realize that this is never going to end, and that's a good thing. We are not meant to figure everything out so that we can stop and relax once and for all. One lesson of "being" is to relax into the knowledge that we are, in every moment, experiencing, clarifying, choosing, adjusting, focusing, receiving and, here's the tricky part, enjoying the ride. We are all explorers - we're discovering who we really are.

Old friend, New blog

Last year I re-connected with my friend Laurie, with whom I was pretty much joined at the hip for most of my 20's. I love this photograph of her holding a birthday cake she made for me because it really shows her personality - fun, thoughtful and full of good energy. Now Laurie is married, lives outside of Boston, is also a mom of 2 young boys and works for a great children's book publishing company called Barefoot Books. She recently created a blog to chronicle her experience in these areas called "Rocks in the Dryer." Laurie's writing is uniquely thoughtful, funny, and always from the heart. Her recent post titled "Letting Go" is about teaching her youngest son to ride a bike, and what she learned from herself, her deepest self, in the process. Here it is:

As if this week wasn’t “big” enough, what with back to school and the start of kindergarten, I decided to teach Christian to ride his bike.

The opportunity presented itself in the form of a super cool hand-me-down bike, neither of us could resist. Christian is one month away from being 4 and while he is rather physically inclined - I figured this would take a while.

I wrapped him in my special “learn to ride a bike contraption” (two ribbon belts connected and wrapped under the arms, connected in the back/ center of shoulder blades) and he was ready to go. I ran beside him, just as I did his brother, though Davis was 4.5 when we attempted this. I run beside and hold the belt contraption thing so that I am slightly supporting his body, but not him, not the bike.

Problem 1 - I was wearing flip flops

Problem 2 - He was going way to fast

I found myself (sweating and stressing) scream-begging him to slow down. Seriously, I couldn’t run fast enough to keep up with him. Slow Down, Slow Down, This is Serious!, There is danger, Danger, Danger!! - Watch out! Too Fast, we have to wait for daddy to get home, he can run faster . . . stop laughing this is SERIOUS, you could get hurt - blah blah blah. It was all of my fear, deep and true to the core - I was scared to death. He was elated. Underneath my pathetic, irrational fear a little voice began to speak to me. This voice calmly began, quiet and nurturing at first, then strong and confident. “Let go”. “Let Go, you have to let go.”

Tears sprang and burned. The answer came from within, when I quieted enough to listen to it, so amazing.

Though I didn’t want to, I had many excuses why I shouldn’t . . .I did it. I stopped my imbecile running and let go. He rode, and rode and laughed and squealed with such joy and raw, true joy. One more moment, flash, sensation that simply will never be felt in my life again. Gone. Moment. Precious. Fleeting. It was pure joy, pure fear, pure love, pride, past and future, loss and gain.

He turned pro in about 15 minutes.

We rode to Montessori School the next day (4 miles on a town path).

What else can be said on the subject, I am proud of us both.

An Invitation from Deepak Chopra


Many people have asked me how they might more actively participate in the creation of a critical mass of consciousness. I always find the words of Mahatma Gandhi so helpful, when he said "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

If you want to "be the change" in your community, you might begin by hosting meetings to talk about how you can create A New Humanity through personal and social transformation. Interested individuals can agree to meet once or twice a month to share a common vision and achieve agreed goals. The meetings can be a few friends in your living room or a larger group at any gathering place such as a local church, center or bookstore. Clubs and organizations can ask their members, yoga teachers can ask their students.

I will provide suggested topics and worksheets on the Alliance for a New Humanity's website to help facilitate the conversations. Your meetings and contact information will be listed in a Directory on the website and in the coming months, activities initiated by these meetings all over the world will be reported to encourage others. Together we can make it happen. Thank you for being a part of this global effort.

Love,

Deepak


Deepak Chopra, President and CEO
The Alliance for a New Humanity

for further information contact: howtobethechange@aol.com

Inspired by a life : Paul Newman

There is a lot to admire about Paul Newman's life. I am a big fan of his, yet I probably could only tell you one or two films he was in. I know very little about his career as an actor.

When I started the be line, I read a book called Shameless Exploitation in Pursuit of the Common Good written by Paul Newman and his business partner A. E. Hotchner. It tells the story of Newman's Own, the first company to sell natural foods in supermarkets and donate all profits to charity. (Most notably he used some of those profits to create "The Hole in the Wall Gang" camp which grew to be the world's largest family of camps for children with serious illnesses.) The book is a funny, easy read about how it all got started and how they overcame obstacles to achieve what is an incredibly successful food business. As an entrepreneur, it was encouraging to find out that even Paul Newman had difficulty navigating the world of manufacturing and distribution. They "systematically disregarded the advice of experts and relied instead on instinct and imagination." Through much trial and error, they create the business in a unique, unconventional style they call "non-management." They are often quoted as saying "There are three rules for running a business; fortunately, we don't know any of them." It was refreshing and the most inspiring business book I've read.

The fact that he was married to Joanne Woodward for 50 years and that they lived, not in Hollywood, but in the same house in Westport, CT also makes me a fan. It suggests a life of contentment, commitment, enjoying who and where you are, but not boredom. He was racing cars, acting, directing, playing practical jokes and I'm sure a lot more of what made him who he is until the end of his life. On a semi-recent episode of Iconoclasts, he told Robert Redford that his birthday gift to Joanne that year was 2 hours of driving around streets of Westport that they had not yet seen. It doesn't get more tender than that. Thank you for the inspiration Paul, and your ridiculous good looks didn't hurt either.