Defending Gwyneth

This week's front page of the New York Times "SundayStyles" section headline reads "Martha, Oprah...Gwyneth?" The article highlights Gwyneth Paltrow's recent projects which include a cookbook, opening a gym in TriBeCa with her trainer Tracy Anderson, and GOOP.com, her new lifestyle website I've mentioned here before. All of this, of course, is in addition to her role as an actor and style icon. Her "foray into the arena of lifestyle guru-dom" has garnered much criticism in the media and the writer, Bob Morris, questions why.

The general criticism is that Gwyneth has "Marie Antoinette-like tone-deafness to the times" meaning much of the fashion or travel featured on GOOP is well out of the price range of her average reader. That's a predictable criticism of a problem that will be easy for Gwyneth and GOOP to address. And I think the critics have missed the point. My experience so far is that GOOP intends to promote a mindful, holistic lifestyle. They encourage readers to take responsibility for themselves (including what they can and cannot afford), live a purposeful life, show some style and make home cooked meals in the process. Most of the depth on the site comes not from Gwyneth, but from the experts who respond to her questions such as the recent "how to BE with one's children." The insights shared - "we must see our children for who they are without constantly projecting our own needs and wishes onto them... we must spend time with them, listen to them and most of all, HEAR them" - are not groundbreaking, but they are thoughtful reminders.

GOOP is no doubt coming from a spiritual perspective. That tone is set on the home page with the tag line "Nourish the Inner Aspect," which this article claims "positions it deeply in the New Age realm" - and this is the statement I disagree with most of all. It's like saying Coldplay's music is deeply positioned in the psychadelic rock movement of the 60's. Evolved from? - yes. Inspired by? - sure, but it is 40 years later and the scene has changed. GOOP does not look, feel or sound like the New Age to me. I believe Gwyneth is onto something. She's tapping into what many people are not willing to acknowledge yet - that the interest in our spiritual dimension is no longer on the fringe. It is becoming mainstream, it shows up in popular culture more and more and it can look modern and stylish. In fact, what she's doing with GOOP is in many ways what I'm trying to do with this site. But with all of her money and influence she's able to do it much better and faster than me. Just kidding. Go GOOP, I'm a fan.

you can read the article here

Late Night Wisdom

Conan O'Brien was a recent guest on one of my favorite TV programs, Inside the Actors Studio. The host, James Lipton, interviews actors, directors, musicians and comedians in front of an audience filled with students enrolled in the Actors Studio program in New York. After the interview the students have a Q&A "classroom" session when they get to ask their own questions. I love this show because it provides a view into what makes these artists who they are - their background, education, family and cultural influences, experiences, challenges, opportunities, beliefs, insights and passions - instead of the usual superficial celebrity coverage.

With its 12:30am air time, I have never seen the Conan O'Brien show, so my only expectation was that he would be kind of funny. Those expectations were dramatically exceeded by how intelligent, articulate and, not funny, but hilarious he is. I learned he is a Harvard graduate who was president of the famed "Harvard Lampoon" and became a writer for shows such as Saturday Night Live and The Simpsons. Before having his own show, he spent years working with an Improv group which taught him to "listen, react and let things happen." He said:

"Such a large amount of comedy is improvisational. I learned that people respond to something that happened in the moment much more than they will respond to the most brilliant thing that was thought of ahead of time and prepared. There is something in us - and someday they will find out what it is - when we see something that unfolds naturally and is real - people love it. Improv teaches you not to fear those moments, that's where the gold is."

Improv - real world training for how to be. The direction or topic is set, but what happens next is invented in the moment. Without prescribing or rehearsing the routine you allow for something entirely new and fresh to be created. The best comedy is not the result of jokes that are written, edited and re-worked. The "gold" is found by responding to what is happening without the need to anticipate and control, to play with it like a game, confident you will know the right thing to say, the perfect thing to do. It is not haphazard or passive, there are skills involved, skills that can be developed with practice. It makes me want to take an improv class. Could I be brave enough to trust in the aliveness, the cleverness, the perfect timing of now?

After 16 years the Conan O'Brien Show aired for the last time on Friday night. Conan will replace Jay Leno on The Tonight Show starting June 1st.

Philosopher's Notes

Mavericks at Work
The Tao of Eqqus
The Spontaneous Healing of Belief
Radical Acceptance
The Intention Experiment
The Disappearance of the Universe
Integral Spirituality
The Presence Process
Invisible Acts of Power
To Have or to Be?
Your Immortal Reality

These are just a few of the books that are in stacks on my nightstand right now. The plan was to write down and include all of them, but my hand started cramping while I was thinking I should get a life. Anyway, some I have already read but want to keep close and some I'm sure I will get to any day now. I do read fiction every once in a while, but this is what really excites me. If you can relate, there is a new website called Philosopher's Notes you might want to know about.

Philosopher's Notes is the latest project of Brian Johnson who, in addition to several other successful internet companies, founded and sold Zaadz, now called Gaia, a popular social networking site with a focus on spirituality, so he has some street cred in those circles.

His idea is to provide summaries, like cliff notes, of 100 self-development books for the “busy self-actualizer.” There are currently 54 titles available and his plan is to complete the remaining 46 this year. The first 25 notes are free and, if you like them, you can buy all 100 for $20. Each note includes a six page PDF file and a 28 minute MP3 file. I just signed up, so I'm starting my virtual stack and giving my nightstand a rest and having some high school flashbacks.

Happy Valentine's Day

remember: you are love

just be it

Is that a Buddha in your pocket?

Very cute little "pocket buddhas, only 1.5 inches tall, they come in 6 different colors with stickers and an inspirational quote. They could brighten someone's day.

Enjoying the Journey

well, kind of.

Feeling unfocused, uninspired and unorganized about work brought on many "I should be doing something" moments.

Why doesn't being come more naturally? The pressure I felt was entirely self imposed. And the whole time I was aware of how absurd it was to not be doing anything while feeling guilty and miserable about it. What a waste of perfectly good time. I can never get that time back.

I think about the last 40 years and all of the time spent feeling guilty or anxious about what I was not doing. Then I fantasize about sending myself the message..."it all works out, just enjoy being exactly where you are right now...look around you, there is so much to appreciate."

I'm learning that the ebb is as natural and necessary as the flow in life. Ebb is going to happen, my experience of it is up to me. It is not a phase to endure, head down just waiting for the flow again. If we don't judge it as a bad thing, it could be interesting and exciting in a new way. Ebb is our friend.
It's a new mantra : Embrace ebb.

jacqueline veissid photo