What does "spirit" look like ?

This was a topic of dinner conversation last week and I recommend it for your next dinner party. It contains key ingredients for a good debate: unexamined stereotypes, implicit but ambiguous morality and an undefined scope. Just add margaritas (optional).

When somebody is described as spiritual, what image pops into your mind? Does it include any of the following?:

incense, Buddha, an altar, incense and Buddha on an altar, health food, psychedelic t-shirts, crystals, the lotus pose, the Dalai Lama, the "self help" section? Most of us would agree this is an outdated characterization and if we really consider what makes somebody spiritual, the answer is found below that surface. So what is the answer?

I have to stop here and write what I really believe is the ultimate truth: Every human being is spiritual. There is not a body out there that doesn't come with a spirit. It's like air - it's invisible, but it's there. It's never not there. It's keeping you alive even if you never acknowledge it. You don't have to believe it exists, it's still there.

So, if that is the truth, is the conversation over? Or is there a distinction to be made between everybody and people like me? Let's call us "spiritual enthusiasts" - people who are explicit about their spiritual nature. Not only do we believe in it, we know it exists. We want to actively engage it. We love to read about it, talk about it, analyze and blog about it. We want to understand it, maximize it, explore and study it. Some dress the part, and some of us wear our Chi Mihara's with skinny leg jeans and call it self expression.

I go to church regularly, do lots of charity work, read stacks of books on personal transformation, practice yoga, drink green tea and design clothing with inspirational messages. Does that make me spiritual? No.

Those are expressions of my interests and me doing what feels right for me. And, I am very clear there is a huge difference between doing these things and actually being spiritual. Being is where the rubber meets the road. Being spiritual is an internal approach to life, ourselves and others. It's the intention and motivation that precedes our actions much more than the actions themselves. I keep this, written by Neal Donald Walsh, taped to my bathroom mirror as the closest "how to" be spiritual I can find:

"Embrace every circumstance, own every fault, share every joy, contemplate every mystery, walk in every man's shoes, forgive every offense (including your own), heal every heart, honor every person's truth, adore every person's God, protect every person's rights, preserve every person's dignity, promote every person's interests, presume every person's holiness. Be a living, breathing example of the Highest Truth that resides within you."

Unable to define pornography, Supreme Court justice Potter Stewart famously said “I know it when I see it” and the same could be said for defining spirituality (awesome. I worked porn in.) Except it's less about what we see. "I know it when I feel it" is more accurate. What does spirit feel like to you?

photo: Ogden, the Inappropriate Yoga Guy, from his recent episodes on yogajournal.com