"People come here 

and listen to my dharma words

when all I really want to do

is pour them a little tea."  -Adyashanti

All searching - for spiritual enlightenment, wealth and power, or the right diet - is really all of the same search for happiness.  Sometimes a break from the searching and striving can help us to realize that the happiness we want is patiently waiting for us to recognize it, in the little things, like a cup of tea (my be habit.)

Cafe Dharma offers audio/video/radio downloads of Adyashanti's teachings.  Most are for sale, but some are free and worth listening to.
photo from flickr

what's in a name?

It recently came up in a conversation about being (in a bar in Soho no less) that the translation of Yahweh, one of the many names of God, is "to be."

"By telling people his name, God intended to reveal his innermost character. As a word, Yahweh is related to the Hebrew verb ‘to be’. The verb goes beyond ‘to exist’; it means rather ‘to be actively present."

How beautiful is that?


Source: Eerdmans Handbook to the Bible, pg. 157. Eerdmans Publishing Company. Grand Rapids, MI.
Thanks Tony!

House Inspector: $495, Attorney Fees : $1,500...

Everyone should have someone in their life who makes them accountable to who they really are, and what they stand for, no matter what.  That person, for me, is my sister.

It has been difficult for me to muster up insightful words to write about being for the last week.  We are in the process of selling our house and buying another and it has been challenging to say the least.   It feels like one road block after another.  In addition to some crying and self-pity, I've tried doing all the right things...praying, finding compassion for all parties involved, writing my intentions, making gratitude lists, staying grounded in what's really important, etc.  And yet I was still physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted from the whole process.  I told my sister I was trying "to think the highest thought" and here is what she wrote:

Maybe instead of thinking the highest thought, you need to focus on the next better thought. Get yourself outta that space one rung at a time. I know you're trying to see what you can't see, but trying is counterproductive to being.

All will be revealed. As my friend David used to always (annoyingly) remind me...."not in your time."

Stop and look around you. Get present. Be thankful for what is, right now.

She should write this blog...I've told her that many times.  I love the idea that "trying is counterproductive to being."  I had abandoned everything I espouse and know to be true and allowed anxiety to take over, and her reminder has been a great kick in the pants.  We are taught to hammer away at problems until we find a solution, but real emotional sophistication calls for knowing when to let go and trust.  A reminder of that from your sister:  priceless

photo: mrs. french's flickr

be Happy be Thanks be Giving

what is the difference between saying what we're thankful for, doing things to show our appreciation and being thankful?   being gratitude?  being appreciation?

I often feel the undercurrent of guilt or desperation in my expressions of gratitude.  Today, I want to embody a state of gratitude, transplant any resentment or entitlement with appreciation, so if I were cracked open, all that would come pouring forth is "thank you."

less judgment, more love

less defense, more peace

less heavy, more light

less anger, more joy

less justifying, more freedom

less criticism, more brilliance

less confusion, more clarity

less struggle, more grace

less blaming, more power

less persuading, more allowing

less convincing, more accepting

less do, more be

it starts

It starts with a commitment: I will be more.  

I will live in the moment, as much as possible.  I want that.  I don't want this life to pass by.  I want to know that I felt it, witnessed it, accepted it, moved within it, smelled it, tasted it, and enjoyed it.  I want to know that even though it will be impossible for every moment, I was in more moments than I was out.  I want to get that even when it's not good, it's still good because it's my experience and an opportunity to feel the fullness of who I am, the whole picture of me.  I want to proceed knowing that I can't make this happen, but my commitment is enough for now.  My commitment is powerful and because of it I will begin to feel the absolute rightness of exactly where I am and I will know that my determination is paying off.  And I will think, yes, this is what I want to feel like, this is everything, and I want more of this. 

allow the happy moment

be ecstatic

I wrote the word ecstatic in the last post and it stayed inside of me, like an air hockey puck, knocking and floating at the same time - ecstatic,    ecstatic,    ecstatic...

and then I read this in an interview with Yasuhiko Kimura- "Ecstasy means being unstuck, ongoingly ex-static.  So you must commit yourself to an ecstatic life" . No wonder it feels so good to say the word to myself. Imagine being ecstatic, unstuck, flowing, enjoying the forward motion of life. Or maybe the more accurate interpretation is - when we are truly being, ecstasy is available.

Talk about aiming high.  Do we dare to go for a life of ecstasy?  Are you daring enough to "commit yourself to an ecstatic life?"

photo from Yes, Please
quote from a back copy of What is Enlightenment? Magazine

be ageless

If access to the ecstatic eruption of simultaneous joy and peace is not a compelling enough reason to live in the present moment, maybe this will be : look younger.  It works for me.

Deepak Chopra has a new book out that applies his expertise in the mind-body connection to the topic of aging.  His larger message is that we have the ability to alter our relationship to time, and when we do, we can reap many benefits, including maintaining physical vitality through a timeless awareness instead of giving into the idea of physical deterioration.

He says,  "Your body wants to be alive here and now. To give it that gift, bring your awareness to the here and now."

Does it matter what our motivation is for striving to live in the now?  Since we are so identified with our physical human attributes, maybe that is just the thing to get us turned in the direction of where the larger part of us wants to go. 

I read about this here.

Today is Blog Action Day, a day when the world's bloggers are asked to write about the same topic in order to foster discussion and ultimately social change.  This year's topic is climate change.  It's a good idea, this bad, because bloggers have a lot of influence.  But as someone who blogs about the alternative, or more specifically, the important precursor to action, what I have to write may not qualify.  

If you are interested in reading or getting involved in a conversation about actions you can take to prevent climate change, a quick search will bring you about 48 million options.  That information is out there if you want it, but beU is about being.  Making the choice to focus on being acknowledges that we rely too much on information and action.  First things first.  It doesn't matter how much you reduce your carbon emissions if you haven't squared away your inner being-ness on the topic first.  So here are some action steps for all of us:

1.  ask yourself "who am I being in relation to the environment?"
2.  ask yourself "who do I want to be in relation to the environment?"
3.  Write down the characteristics of somebody who positively contributes to the environment.
4.  Embody those characteristics in your self.
5.  Take action from there.  

In summary : "Be the change you wish to see in the world" or maybe,  "Be the lack of climate change that you wish to see in the world."

what be is

something in the water

I love my KOR water bottle, chosen over a SIGG because it is dishwasher safe.  And as a bonus, finding "KOR stones" inside only increased my love.  The stones are actually a selection of messages  on paper cleverly designed to fit into the inside of the lid.  Everytime you open it to take a sip, you get a "reminder of what motivates you" such as "LAUGH OFTEN," "NEVER SETTLE" and  "NOW IS THE TIME" which, of course, is the one I chose.

about me

I like a bottom line. 

In our world where there is endless information, opinions, assessments and options to consider, a bottom line provides good solid ground.  That's what 'be' is to me - one of life's bottom lines.  It goes: you've got this moment, enjoy it or not, it's your choice. I want to be present in my life, with my children, in my body, for the experience.  I want to appreciate it all.  I believe there is perfection in every moment.  And I believe the conversation about being - what it means and how to "do" it - clears the way to a happy, successful life.  I believe life is meant to be enjoyed moment by sweet moment and I'm giving it my best shot.

I carry around a cardboard cup sleeve for my Starbucks Chai tea latte habit rather than using a new one every time.  It's a tiny thing and sometimes feels pointless, but then I think of my friend Monica Rodgers and I know she would reassure me that every little bit counts.  Monica started her company, Little Bits, a stylish children's boutique with an emphasis on environmental responsibility, long before it was trendy to be environmentally responsible.  It started with the greatest car seat covers made from designer fabric remnants, and has grown into much more.  I talked with her recently about her latest project, the Earth Savers Gang.

beU: Tell me about the Earth Savers gang.

MR: It's a storybook series and online social network for kids. The first book will introduce kids to six characters who help save the planet, learning that the power to make a difference is on the inside. They are ordinary heroes vs. extraordinary superheros. The goal was then to inspire kids to become their own hero, create their own character and get on-line, almost like facebook for kids, to build their own profile and share in their learning. We will create an educational curriculum, a rewards system and a community of parents, educators and corporations who were willing to reward kids with points for making a difference. Kids could redeem points in the real world for merchandise, gifts or donations to other countries, animal shelters, and corporations could match with dollars or products.

Zach, our energy saver, is going to teach kids about alternative energy, what energy is, how it’s applied, but also about things like energy in the body - spiritual energy. Like you are doing with "the be line" it’s about what’s on the inside and we’re all made of energy. He’s actually going to go there and talk about those things. He’s also a lover of music, so he’s going to teach about the vibrations in the world and teach the value of community and how when your vibration combines with someone else's this whole creative thing happens.


beU: It‘s really layered.

MR: It’s going to be so fun when it actually comes to fruition. Penelope is our paper saver and she is going to teach kids the value of giving things a second chance and the value of looking at things differently, the value of creativity - she is the artist of the group. What she does is look at ways to express herself so she’ll be recycling, reusing, reconfiguring other worn old objects into new pieces or new ways of looking at things so she'll get into a lot of the visuals and aesthetics of the world.


beU:  I love her,  I love Penelope.  As I’m hearing about the gang as a whole, together they represent totality.  (Note:  there's also Alison the Atmosphere saver, Ernie the soil saver and Olivia the water saver.)

MR: They do and really, if you boiled the essence of what we’re doing with the gang down, it’s a journey of consciousness and consciousness is about being present in the moment and to be creativity or to be love or be energy, community, teamwork...

beU: And to be your unique expression of it.

MR: Exactly, because that is the beauty of life, none of us are the same and that’s what I want kids to learn, that they all have a unique gift to bring to the world.  What we want at the end of the day is a world full of vibrant, vital people, adults and kids who are empowered by each other to be the best people they can be.

beU:  I'm  41 years old and working on connecting to my true self and creating my life from that place.  If you’re taking a child who doesn’t have the layers and layers of conditioning that someone my age might have, there’s much more potential and it could be so much easier and more natural for them.

MR: Their access to it is so easy, it comes as second nature. Actually, part of the story that I tell in the books is called “The Story of the Great Forgetting.” It’s the story of how and when kids start to forget.

beU: The story of the great forgetting …it’s giving me goosebumps. We forget who we really are.

MR: In the story, it starts around age 7. At age 7 they start to see themselves as separate from the world and start to forget. That’s documented by anybody who looks at childhood development. Isn't the idea of being separated when we’re really all interconnected the Achilles heel of humanity in a way? Although it is necessary to see see yourself as separate, it’s an “and” and not a “but” right?

beU: Right. I'm an individual AND I am a part of everything.

MR: To think that I could, through the storybook series or any of it, could sink that message in at any level is worth giving my life purpose to, you know?

beU: What could be more important than that? And it brings it back up to the level of earth saving, because when you understand that since you’re connected to everything, the choices you’re making and things your doing are effecting the environment. What you do, you do to yourself and to everyone you know.


MR:  Right. It’s no accident that our world looks the way it does right now.  But the word "save" is so martyristic, but it's also a cool superhero word, so I’ve chosen to use it.  I’ve often thought “do I really want to use the word save?”  For kids, I don’t want there to be anything wrong, really. One of the biggest things I’ve realized about why adults don’t take a step forward to make a difference is because they are overwhelmed in the face of it, so where would they even start?  They don’t really believe at the end of the day that to take one step actually does make a difference where you can show a child that easily.  I keep going back to the tag line that we’re going to use  - “rediscover the power in you” - and the two don’t operate separately.


beU:  Your meta message of "little bits" - which I’ve always loved so much - is about understanding that not only does every little choice make a difference, but every little choice is creating something.

MR:  Every little bit counts, yep.

beU:  When you were interviewed by Planet Green, they asked you "What green thing do you do everyday?" and your answer was "I am always thinking about how I can make a difference. It's my life's work, but it's a huge part of my consciousness now. As far as what I do, it's more in the 'being' for me. If I can 'be' conscious then I naturally make green choices."  Everyone is talking about how there is a shift happening, consciousness is being elevated, etc...people are calling it a lot of different things.  The focus on "being green" has reached a tipping point and is so much more a part of everybody’s awareness but it seems clear to me that is a part of, or goes hand-in-hand with, the raising of consciousness in general.   Does that make sense?

MR: Yes, it does.

beU: It’s definitely not separate.   I’m promoting a lifestyle of being more, which doesn’t mean just sitting around meditating, inactive, being still and getting your zen on all the time.   It’s getting to that place so that you can go out and do from that place of being where you’re more intuitive, you have more faith and trust in yourself, you’ve taken the time to get to know yourself -who you really are and what you have to contribute to the world - that then all those actions will come from you so much more easily and naturally.  Those will be actions from higher consciousness which are more environmentally conscious, socially conscious...

MR: Like being on purpose.  It’s like the doing just becomes a natural extension of your purpose.

beU:  Again, it comes back to the earth savers and what these young superhero kids naturally embody.

MR: Yes, my goal is to show kids that you’re fine just the way you are and it’s normal to feel all these things you’re feeling and be different and be listening for who you really are and be awakening at the same time that you’re going through the great forgetting. You have to forget to remember…does that make sense?

beU: You are creating this on so many levels. I’m impressed with the thoughtfulness and scope of the character development. How are you synthesizing all of this information? Is this coinciding with your own journey of consciousness? Is this mostly from things you’ve read?


MR: I think it’s happening simultaneously and I always say, in my journal anyway, if I thought that I was going to ever write about a journey of consciousness without looking at my own life, I don’t know who I’m kidding. You can’t look good on the journey of consciousness.

(At this point I laugh, hard, because, it's so true and because Monica's delivery of the line was perfect)


MR: For me, it's watching my kids, it’s feeling what I want them to inherit and who I want their role models to be.   It's who am I as a parent, an individual, a human being and what am I bringing to the world and what do I want the message to my kids to be? I want the message to be creativity, courage, inspiration and appreciation. There’s so much to be grateful for and there’s so much to wonder about.

The 1st epidode of the Earth Savers Gang, to come out in 2009 ends with a call to action for kids to get on the website, create their own earth saver avatar, and start the adventure.

Related Links:

www.littlebits.com
www.earthsavers.typepad.com

Where's the Love?

In case you missed the movie, (Taking Woodstock) the book, (The Road to Woodstock) or the massive amounts of commemorative merchandise in stores, (I picked up some peace sign paper plates at Target) America just celebrated the 40th anniversary of Woodstock.

This 3 day festival of peace, love and music is well documented and has become mythic in our culture. You didn't have to be there to feel like you kind of know what it was like to be there.

One thing that is not well known is that Sri Swami Satchidananda, known as the guru of Woodstock, opened the festival "with blessings and a call to a higher purpose." "The whole world is watching you" he told the crowd, and "is going to know what the American youth can do for humanity. America is helping everybody in the material field, but the time has come for America to help the whole world with spirituality also."

Although Woodstock was ostensibly about peace, love and music it is probably best remembered for sex, drugs and rock and roll. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But, it's been 40 years. What do we have to show for all that talk about peace and love? Where's the peace? Where's the love?

It's in you.

It is difficult to articulate what it means to be, or why one should want to be more, and do less. Of what value is being? It is esoteric, subjective, philosophical and existential. It generates many more questions than answers. "Being is an open concept. It is impossible to form a mental image of it. Nobody can claim exclusive possession of it" writes Eckhart Tolle. And this is why I love it so much.

Being eludes our human desire to slice, dice and analyze everything in our experience. Like the best things in life, it cannot be acquired, it is already in our possession. It cannot be thought, it can only be felt. This quote by Maya Angelou communicates, simply, a way to consider the impact of who you are being:

"i've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - maya angelou

So, we can ask ourselves, "how do I make people feel?"

photo via Yes, Please

be prosperity

An anonymous donor funded the creation of this - in my opinion - genius advertising campaign. "The campaign is about America and resiliency. The recession has hurt one of America's greatest attributes - it's unshakable optimism."

Remember, prosperity is not for a lucky few. Check it out, it's inside of you.

you can read more about the campaign and see the other billboards here. Thanks Alexa!

just here, now. where I am and wherever you are. can you see it?

(be)ach

It is so much easier to be at the beach. There's something about standing in front of the ocean that refreshes my perspective. Yielding to life makes sense from that vantage point. Work with the current. Fighting it is hard and no fun and futile. That's where I'll be for the next 2 weeks in body, mind and hopefully spirit.

photo by the talented Jeremy Saladyga

Follow Up : Free Love

For the one year anniversary of beU I decided to give away some love which resulted in the first "life of love" award presented to Kathy Strickland. Kathy was nominated by her daughter who wrote:

“She showers my kids, my husband, my friends, my dog, my insecurities, my doubts, my fears,my joys and me with her unconditional support, interest, love and affection daily. She does this for others through her work, and as a result, she makes her mark on the world by encouraging others to see the good in themselves.”

Kathy received this certificate and a "be love" shirt. I had so much fun with this, I look forward to giving away lots more. Do you know someone who deserves to be recognized for a life of love, a life of grace, a life of peace or a life of joy? Remember, it's not about what they do. It's about how they make you feel when you are around them, what they bring to the party and how they influence the world by their very presence.

Congratulations Kathy thanks for being you!

Slacker

Is there a fine line between slacking and "just being?" It is partly true to write that I have been enjoying the long lazy days of summer, really enjoying the moments as they pass and choosing to go kayaking with my children rather than work. A real model of "being" I would like to say. But the truth is I've been slacking.

I have to acknowledge this because what I truly believe is that when the art of being is mastered, one can have it all - efficient inspired action to get everything done that needs to be done and a calm, centered emotional and mental state that allows you to enjoy the forward motion of life. Being is not an excuse for inaction.

What I'm reaching for is more of a sustained ability to enjoy being rather than experiencing bursts of energy and inspiration that fade and leave me practicing the art of procrastination. I've gotten pretty good at that, so I'd like to move on to a new operating mode. Stay tuned. I promise I have lots of half written witty and fascinating posts that will be completed soon.

Enlighten Up

Girl's night out last week was a trip to the Jacob Burns Center to see the new documentary film "Enlighten Up" as part of their Meditative Life series.

The film follows Nick Rosen, a 29 year old journalist from New York City, as he practices yoga across America and India for 6 months in an "experiment" to see if and how it changes his life. Nick is skeptical and ambivalent about the potential for spiritual transformation. He also happens to be very cute - the camera loves this guy - and my friends and I agreed that filmmaker Kate Churchill made a smart choice with him. Superficial? Maybe. But, hey, it was girls night out.

I loved this film and think it was very well done. Was Nick transformed by the experience? Yes, but definitely not in a predictable way. To me it was a realistic portrayal of the subtle and unexpected ways we shift and grow when we become open, even a little bit, to the possibility of finding a deeper broader version of our self. It is not a linear process. It is confronting and exasperating at times. It is also an on-going, open-ended life-long trip. And, most of all, it is different for everyone. We're all going, it's just a question of how much we are willing to enjoy the bumpy ride along the way.

I recommend the film and agree with this review:
“…this simultaneously tongue-in-cheek and reverential docu will entertain the unenlightened without alienating the faithful.”

— Ronnie Scheib, Variety

If you don't go see the film, at least look at the great trailer:

WOULDN'T IT BE WONDERFUL TO BE GRACE?

Media : Maestro Conference

Maestro Conference is a new website and technology for on-line conference calls and workshops. I just found out they declared July to be "maestro month" which means they are offering free seminars in areas of business, spirituality, health and societal change. The line-up looks great. I'm sad that I missed Brian Johnson from Philosopher's Notes, but there are still some great leaders and topics for the rest of the month.

All you have to do is look at the schedule and register yourself to call in and, if you choose, to actively participate in the workshop for free!

You can find out more here.

I was recently introduced by a friend to MTV fitness guru Kristin McGee. Last week I took her yoga class at the Reebok sports club in NYC and really enjoyed chatting with her over lunch afterwards.

Originally from Idaho, Kristin is a vibrant and gorgeous example of a pioneer in blending ancient spiritual traditions and practices with a modern American lifestyle (her iPump yoga program is now an app on my iPhone.) Her goal is to demystify yoga, making it accessible without losing site of its origins. I came home with her Power Yoga DVD which I'm eager to use when I can't get to class.

You can see more about Kristin and her work here.

And I loved this "disappear" sign just outside the yoga studio at Reebok.

In 1991, just before graduation from college, I had an interview for what would have been my first real, full-time, big deal, job. During the interview I was asked to speak about an important figure in American culture. I chose Michael Jackson. Yes I did. I spoke about how he was using his fame and power for good, bringing positive messages to the masses. I specifically mentioned the importance of the lyrics to "Man in the Mirror," a song I love-love-loved. I really believed they would appreciate this bold response and feel they needed my youthful and fresh perspective in their organization... it probably wont surprise you to find out I did not get the job.

I remember being confused by the look of horror on my parents' faces when I mentioned my response to them. My mother's eyes glazed over and I was pretty sure I heard her mumbling "why not Eleanor Roosevelt?" under her breath as she walked away, convinced the educational system had failed me.

It was not much later that Michael Jackson's behavior and appearance started changing in extreme and strange ways. When the first accusations of mistreatment of a child were brought against him, I was devastated. How could I have been so wrong? I could no longer listen to his music without cringing from embarrassment about my severely misguided admiration. I'm so naive. I should have paid more attention in history class. Please God do not let that interviewer remember me and my ridiculous answer...

Fast forward 18 years and several jobs later...I'm taking a spin class and "Man in the Mirror" is in the mix. Unable to avoid it, I listened to the lyrics once again. By the end of the song I'm on a full, standing, spin-dance, I don't care who's looking, high. Those lyrics are amazing. I do love them. I was right. What a visionary I was. Screw that interviewer.

Not only that, I reveled in the realization that all these years later I still believe the lyrics represent one of the most important lessons in life,

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself then make a change

In fact, I've created a business based on that same message :
You can only be responsible for yourself. It starts inside. Be the change.

Michael Jackson had moments of greatness and moments of shame, as we all do to our own extent. So be it. Let's choose to focus on the good. Shake your body down to the ground.

Tomorrow, July 8, 2009, twilight begins on the east coast at 4:56 am. If nothing else, it's an opportunity to contemplate alignment. Is your life in or out of alignment with your deepest self? If it is flowing pretty easily, moving forward in a way you feel good about, then the answer is - in alignment. If you feel stuck, in a revolving door of frustration or disappointment - out of alignment. The wee hours of tomorrow morning are as good a time as any to ask for the strength to let go and trust, to let it be. To let the perfection of that moment move your life forward in directions you may not even know you want to go.

fun fact about the time and date from my wonderful cousin. Thanks Liz!

(be)auty

I'm leaving England today, I've been here all week enjoying being with my family and taking lots of photos that look like this one. I thought I would get some work done, but no.

This is my first time seeing the English countryside and to my American eyes there is literally, at every turn, something beautiful to behold. It is the kind of beauty that plunges you right into the moment when you think "enjoy this, take it all in, experience every detail, this exact place and time will never occur again." I'm hoping to take some of that home with me.

photo found on this is glamorous

this one's for the boys

and anyone else turned on by shamanic cheerleaders.

Last year on Oprah's prime time reality TV show, 'The Big Give', 10 contestants competed, not to get, but to give. Each week, faced with a different challenge in a different city, the contestants gave away money and used their creative efforts to help as many people as they could. After each challenge one contestant was eliminated and, at the finale, the winner was Stephen Paletta. I happen to live in the same town as Stephen and his family and was excited to sit down with him recently to talk about his experience on 'The Big Give' and what it really means to be a philanthropist.

beU: I loved your recent blog post when you wrote about your frustration, trying to find meaning in the world of philanthropy beyond the mechanics of giving and receiving money. You kept looking until you found the root of the word which is...

SP: ...to love and serve mankind. (PHILIEN ("to love") and ANTHROPOS ("mankind").

beU: I thought that was so beautiful, and to me, because of the way I’m focused, I saw it as the clear difference between doing and being. The giving and receiving of money is something you "do" but the state of being that’s behind it, what it really comes down to, is service and love of others.

SP: No doubt. However that understanding really isn’t out there at all. Not that I see. At the end of the day it comes down to a dollar and cents issue and not a real living of it. And that’s really frustrating, and I see that everywhere in corporate America. The reality is, we have the bottom line we all have to deal with in our personal life, our business life, whatever it is - there is still a financial bottom line, at least for me and the people I’m around. It is the dominating factor that ultimately controls everything. It’s the way the culture is set up, and to live counter-culturally is really really difficult.

beU: I know that one of the purposes of 'The Big Give' was to motivate people to give and to serve others by showing that you get so much out of it, not financially, but emotionally and spiritually you gain so much when you give. So you are finding that people just don’t realize that, or it’s still not worth it if there’s not a financial gain? Where are we stuck?

SP: I think we're stuck in the dominant culture which is about money. At the end of the day our society is a "me" society. One where you’re judged by who you are and the money, fame or power that you have. The people who are highlighted in the media, the people who are on the front page of the paper, the people in the community who are looked up to are the people with the money or the power and it’s very rare that the person who’s doing the service piece or the person who’s being a true philanthropist and serving and loving others is getting any recognition. Then all of a sudden when we’re in our late 30's to early 40's and we start to go through a typical mid-life crisis, which really is when you start to question that whole thing...

beU: Like “there’s got to be more to life”

SP: There’s got to be more, this way hasn’t brought me the joy that I wanted it to. Being on 'The Big Give' was an interesting ride. In fact, I was so disappointed by the television show because the experience was so much better than the show. The show never got to the joy and the excitement and the true pleasure that came out of the relationships that were developed. In fact, it highlighted the frustrations and aggravations, which happen all the time, whether you’re at work or doing good deeds, there’s frustration. However when one of the episodes would be over, there was a sense of fulfillment that I probably have never had before. I developed a relationship with these people. I’ve come to understand who these people are, their needs, and help them out and they were helping me out. It wasn’t us coming in as white knights, it was people coming together and trying to solve a problem, so you’d sit there at the end and go “this was an unbelievable experience" and none of that came across on television. In my opinion, it just didn’t.

beU: One of my favorite parts wasn't even on the show, it's a deleted scene on the website, a 5 minute clip when you and the other 2 finalists had $5000 to give away. I cried through the whole thing. You walking up and giving a homeless man food, giving the crossing guard money. Cameron stopping a car and the woman had just lost her job - he didn’t know that - but he stopped the car to say "it looks like you’re having a bad day" and she was in shock when he gave her money and got out of her car to hug him…that hands on giving and receiving, the connection, is really…that’s where it’s at. And I can see how hard it is to keep that momentum as you try to scale it larger.

SP: There was one very interesting night. Each week we would fly into the city, get to know people, be with them for 5 days, get to know their lives and do something with them and for them - except in Miami. We arrived in Miami and were handed $100,000 and told "you have 24 hours to give it away," so it was a mad sprint to give away money. It was great, I found some needy organizations, some great things, but it was such a mad race to give away the money that at the end of it I got into my car and I was seriously depressed and they’re filming me and asking "what’s wrong?" I said, "you know, I just had $100,000 that I’ll probably never have again to give away, but I never got to know one person that I gave it to. I never got to sit and talk to anyone. I never understood their story, who their brothers and sisters were, there was no connection whatsoever. All I did was hand out money. Do you know how empty that feels?" Don’t get me wrong, the money did some good, but I thought to myself…this is how people feel giving away money at times. You write a check you send it off and you get nothing out of it if there’s no connection. I think that’s typical. It can actually turn you off about giving.

It was relatively easy for me to do for an 8 week fixed timeframe. All my food and hotel bills were all paid for. I wasn’t even allowed to carry money, so I didn’t have financial concerns. I started out saying "for the next 8 weeks I am going to live life on a need to know basis. I am going to assume that when I show up, God will show up and let me know what I need to know and besides that, I don’t care. And if I get sent home after the first week, then that’s ok." So I’d walk into a city and know nothing and think "ok God, what do I need to know today?" And it was the most peaceful time, there was this power that came. Then you come back to life and you have 3 kids that have to go to school, pay bills and all of the sudden, that ability to live life on a need to know basis goes away. I want to know - am I going to be ok financially 10 years from now? Am I going to be able to pay for all my kids’ college? You’re not asking what do I need to know today, which I think gives you the true joy of living.

beU: truly being, in the moment

SP: But we live in a world that tells us - look, you've got to worry about the future - and we just forget about living life on a day to day basis. Whether it’s the Christian faith or any other ancient spiritual faith, it says the same thing - It’s really about today - and our entire society tells us it’s not. Who are you going to be in the future, what’s your savings, your position, what are your kids going to be like? All of that - what’s your status? And we can’t get away from it.

beU: I believe that’s changing. I believe that it’s a slowly growing change on the fringe of culture that is gaining momentum and it’s getting to a point where a critical mass of people are at least willing to consider an alternative way of living where they are more interested in "how can I live for today?" "how can I find true happiness and fulfillment?" Because our culture has gotten us to the point of great success and progress and accomplishment. With what we've been able to create we’ve proven our intelligence, our capabilities, but in aggregate people are less happy than they’ve ever been. So, I really want to believe that there’s enough momentum around people looking for happiness, true happiness as a priority, and asking questions. Once you start asking those questions, the answers that come back to you are what we're talking about - have the faith to look inside yourself, live in the moment and you will be guided.

SP: I do agree that there is a fringe of this, always has been and maybe it has gotten a little bigger and people like us who have stepped into it are aware of this little movement, however...

beU: I want to bop you on the head with my optimist stick...

SP: Actually, I’ve always been an optimistic person, and I still am, however I think there is a reality that isn’t being pessimistic. It’s saying – it’s either going to stay on the fringe or somehow we’re going to have to take over the dominant culture. How does it stop being a fringe thing? And the dominant culture being the media, the superstardom, the things that are out in front of everybody. I’ve thought about what I’d like to spend the next however long it is I have to live doing, and it would be fighting against the dominant culture to change it and to allow this fringe, if you will, in a real, meaningful way begin to dominate. People are trying to figure that out. In fact, I’m writing a book about it right now. And what I’m looking at is the historical times where culture has gotten out of balance and somebody came along and changed it. I think that’s what’s starting to happen. Influential people in realms whether it’s politics, tv, media, an Oprah Winfrey... My responsibility in this whole big idea is more than just me. We live in a "me" culture and I don’t think we were ever created to be in a "me" culture, we were created to be in a philanthropic culture which is to love and serve others.

beU: It’s good to hear, since you’ve been up close and personal to Oprah, that she really is genuine.

SP: She is a wonderful, magnificent person trying to do the right thing. The one thing I always say about her is - she’s a much better person than she is a TV personality. I really, really like her. You get with her one on one, she’s an unbelievable person, a down to earth, smart, wonderful person who really means well.

There is a video clip from the show where Stephen says "I've learned from this experience that I want my life to be about one thing - serving other people on a full time basis." He continues to work with Oprah on different ideas around developing a philanthropic culture, so be on the lookout for great contributions from him. His sincere passion for creating a culture of service and love leaves me feeling grateful for having him in my community and in the world .

Related Links:

Stephen's website
Stephen's blog
The Big Give

Good Clean Fun

As a mom of 2 young boys, I don't take advantage of my proximity to Manhattan often, especially on a school night, but Monday night I made an exception. My friend Alexa & I headed downtown for the launch party of Dr. Alejandro Junger's new book, Clean, and had a fabulous time. For starters, there are few places more exciting than New York City on a gorgeous spring night.

Next, there are few places that can make a suburban mom feel more hip than the West Village, especially Urban Zen where the party took place. The Urban Zen Foundation was created by fashion designer Donna Karan after the death of her husband, well known artist Stephen Weiss. She turned his studio space into a center that really lives up to its name. We entered through the boutique which sells incredible clothing and accessories, all organic and natural in feel, but very high in style, to benefit the foundation. The party took place upstairs in a perfect New York open loft space with a wall of windows that opened onto a patio and bar. At this bar the choices were green juice, mango coconut juice, green smoothie or coconut water. There was also plenty of raw food. All was delicious.

Alejandro Junger is the Director of Integrative Medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC. He coined the term "open minded medicine" to describe the inclusion of eastern and western approaches in his treatment of patients. His book is a comprehensive explanation of his cleanse program which is a 3 week detoxification diet. He calls it a "nutritional cleanse" because unlike a juice fast or other liquid cleanse, you actually eat whole foods. Recipes are included in the book.

Donna Karan spoke about the mission of Urban Zen, one part of which is focused on patient advocacy and wellness. Her experience during the treatment of lung cancer with her late husband made her determined to change the focus of health care and she acknowledged Dr. Junger for "treating the patient instead of the disease." Robert Thurman, Uma's dad and the first American to be ordained a Tibetan monk by the Dalai Lama, introduced Dr. Junger who spoke briefly, mostly to thank people, and was charming and humble.

The idea of a cleanse, giving your body a chance to detox and your digestive system an opportunity to rest and restore, makes a lot of sense to me. I've done one or two day juice fasts before, but never a full cleanse. It involves no dairy, caffeine, alcohol or sugar, which sounds like no fun at all. But...baby steps. I did buy some kale the next day to try in my juicer. I had to ask a woman in the produce department to point it out to me, but now I can tell the difference between kale and collard greens.

A highlight of the evening was seeing Gala Darling in the crowd. I have admired her blog for a long time and, like the giddy fan that I am, introduced myself and asked if I could take a photo with her. She was kind and adorable and what struck me most of all, present. It's difficult to describe with words what that means. It is an experience of being acknowledged, looked in the eye and respected. It's nice when it happens and yet it makes one realize how really rare it is. Hopefully that is changing. I know I am working on it and am always grateful for the reminder.



Related links:

Urban Zen
the Clean program
Eleven Eleven Wellness Center
Gala Darling
James Mathers
Robert Thurman

Does the World need another t-shirt?

This is a question that runs through my mind often. No, I think, the world doesn't. And that's what I use to justify my stuckness, the denial of what calls me. Because, the truth is, I love t-shirts. I might go as far as saying I'm passionate about them. I love that they are a simple, pervasive, universal garment that can be used as a means of self-expression. And, when designed and worn right, can be downright stylish. And just about everyone can afford one, so they are a fashion equalizer.

I felt this way when I started the be line. And I feel this way now as I work on ideas for the beU bookstore.

My sister introduced me to this quote which is one of the most profound ideas I've ever contemplated:

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what this world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman

Designing t-shirts that express the rootsy, soulful voice of spirit is what makes me come alive. So be it.

being holistic

We hear "body, mind and spirit" all the time. Those are the three components that comprise our whole selves. Actively and purposefully engaging these different aspects of ourselves is what it means to live a holistic lifestyle. How do you take that from theory to practice? I like this explanation I just came across :

The function of the soul is to indicate its desire, not impose it.

The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.

The function of the body is to act out that choice.

When body, mind, and soul create together, in harmony and in unity, God is made flesh.

from Conversations with God, Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch

Science and Spirituality in the Media

I'm noticing a trend - high profile media coverage of the growing awareness of, or curiosity about, the mind-body connection, alternative healing or "energetics."

- Time Magazine dedicated a February issue to "Mind & Body." The lead article is called "The Biology of Belief" and begins:

Most folks probably couldn't locate their parietal lobe with a map and a compass. For the record, it's at the top of your head — aft of the frontal lobe, fore of the occipital lobe, north of the temporal lobe. What makes the parietal lobe special is not where it lives but what it does — particularly concerning matters of faith.

read the rest of the article here


- This image is from a 5 part NPR series called "Is this your brain on God?"

- And the new film "The Living Matrix - The Science of Healing" is a documentary featuring "a wide range of scientists, researchers, psychologists and holistic practitioners to show some of the latest healing methods and how and why energy medicine works."

I have a copy of "The Living Matrix" at home and will be watching it soon, so if anyone locally is interested in joining, let me know!

Things that Inspire

I absolutely love the Where the Wild Things Are movie trailer.

I saw this on You are Remarkable

I love the work of artist Tamara Hensick including this cleverly designed pewter "be" which allows you to switch out cards as a reminder of who you want to be on any given day. I have one of her "word bars" that look like these:

Potential goes Prime Time

If the only thing you know about Tony Robbins is the firewalk or that he was in the movie "Shallow Hal," that is about to change. He will soon be the star of a new NBC reality show called Breakthrough. I consider this great news.

Robbins, known as a "peak performance strategist," helps people, through his books and workshops, find and harness the potential within them and create successful happy lives. The firewalk takes place during every "Unleash the Power Within" weekend event when participants walk in their bare feet across burning coals and, while I have not done this myself, I know very practical, successful, left-brain types who have. The idea is to move past fear and "shift your core beliefs about what's possible." Apparently once you've walked across fire without burning your feet you starting considering what more you are capable of accomplishing.

The TV show "will follow Robbins as he takes participants and helps them face personal challenges. The pilot, for example, focused on someone who was a lifelong stutterer -- and who, by the end of the episode, was speaking in front of a public audience"

This new show is evidence that a growing number of people are thinking, silently or aloud, "there must be more than this." Despite all of the progress, technology, intelligence and opportunity available, so many people still are not fulfilled or happy. The work of Tony Robbins promotes looking for answers in the only place you'll find them - inside your self.

Watch this recent video from ABC news where Tony talks about how to not only handle, but use difficult economic circumstances to your advantage. It's hard not to feel motivated by his bold and provocative statements such as "Sometimes your worst day can be your best day if it produces a change."

How to Cope in a Recession

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NEW! the beU bookstore

because every campus needs a bookstore...
at beU, everything is designed to support and inspire you to be and just to feel good.

Like this "I want to live a life of light" t-shirt - perfect for summer, don't you think? You can see this and more here.